


If You Invite A Thief Into Your Home, Then He'll Steal Anything Not Nailed To The Floor

by KidWestHope16



Series: Papa Jigen [4]
Category: Lupin III, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Exasperated Conan, Jealous Kaito, Papa Jigen, Sassy Cone, Selectively Mute Conan, Uncle Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-16 03:55:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11820708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidWestHope16/pseuds/KidWestHope16
Summary: A recent case has Conan staying at Kudou Manor. Alone.Wonder what problems will arise.





	If You Invite A Thief Into Your Home, Then He'll Steal Anything Not Nailed To The Floor

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm finally settled in a bit. I'll probably update sporadically or introduce new fics. Might even go into other fandoms. Thank you for waiting so patiently for my return.  
> Song to listen to:  
> Krewella- Human  
> Nothing stays the same- Luke Sital Singh  
> Plan three- Still broken  
> Changes AMV Blue Exorcist. Three doors down. I like the version in the AMV better.

There was only so much Conan could take before eventually he needed a break from everything and everyone. It didn't happen often, thankfully. But when the mood struck him, he often sequestered himself in the library amongst all the books to just breathe without feeling as if he was being strangled.  
Still, he couldn't completely shut anyone out. Not when he had a case to solve. After this, after this he could take a break. There was only so much dead bodies a kid could see before going crazy. Not to say he was crazy. He just took off and got lost in his own mind while his body wandered around on autopilot. But everyone had coping methods. And even if his weren't exactly healthy, at least he hadn't gone off the deep end. 

That's all that matters. 

Right?

What did he care anyway? He was okay. And Otchan said he was getting better, so did Hakase. So it must not be that bad. And it wasn't like he was gone for longer than four hours. Not like when he was eleven and disappeared for over three days. He's just glad nothing bad happened that time. He's gotten a lot better about taking off.  


Mostly.

Conan sat on his swivel chair idly spinning around and around and around, until the library was a huge blur of Earth shades. It was soothing to stare at despite the fact that he was already dizzy. He needed a new perspective to solve this case. He just needed to get away. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. Especially since today was apparently a silent day for him. He couldn't force himself to say a word and didn't know if he should be surprised or not. He hadn't had a silent day in a long time. Not since that time he went silent for close to a year.

Might as well recreate the scene. That would give him some insight into the care and meticulous detail the suspect put into making this trap. Now where did his mother store all of this ribbons again?

Conan was trying really hard, honestly he was. But... How could he not laugh? Kaito Kid was trapped in a bundle of ribbons in his library looking like a drowned cat. He was just recreating a crime scene and then Kid stumbled in and literally gift wrapped himself for Conan.  
But the look in his eyes screamed death if he should laugh. Ah, what did he care anyway. He lived on the edge.

Kaito pouted when Tantei-kun fell backwards laughing. He hoped he choked on that laugh.

It'd serve him right for laughing at the great Kaito Kid! Who was he kidding? He'd be on the floor laughing himself sick too. But how was he to know that Tantei-kun had all these ribbons everywhere? He hadn't slept in nearly four days!

Click.  
Kaito looked up and then scowled when he saw the camera in Tantei-kun's hands. Tantei-kun smirked. And Kaito knew, he knew Tantei-kun would keep the evidence for himself. Kaito didn't know whether to laugh or sulk that he now had photographic evidence of Kaito being strung up the way he was. He made a show of struggling before slumping down in exhaustion. He caught sight of Tantei-kun's face and wondered why he looked stunned. He grinned mischievously as he reached for a knot attached to the underside of his chair. Once the knot was undone it was a whirlwind of ribbons as the entire thing collapsed. It was dizzying to watch it all unravel and he didn't have to for long when he hit the ground. "Mercy for this small thief." Kid pleaded and was unsurprised to feel a hand running through his hair with a soothing humming. He couldn't have gotten up if he wanted to, his entire body felt like lead. Exhaustion. What a terrible thing. Humming was the last thing he heard before slipping away into Morpheus's arms. 

Conan watched Kid sleep on the floor and idly wondered if this was normal behavior for either of them of them. Sure he helped Kid and Kid helped him. But was it normal to have a wanted thief asleep in his home and using his lap as a pillow? Meh. Normal was overrated. And he clearly hadn't been getting any sleep. Conan would keep him safe and hidden away from the world until he was ready to go back out there with that poker face of his. Conan only waited a few minutes before texting Otchan how that man was killed using the ribbons.

Otchan only texted him back once.

'Text me if you won't be talking tomorrow either, so I could tell your teacher you're taking the day off.'

Kaito woke up covered by a warm fuzzy blanket with a baby blue pillow under his head. There was someone playing a violin in an almost absent-minded way and they were leaning against him. It didn't really surprise him to see Tantei-kun sitting down beside him with a violin. His eyes flickered to Kaito's but he continued playing.  
"Amazing Grace?" Tantei-kun huffed in silent laughter. "Tantei-kun?" Blue eyes glanced at him in askance but otherwise made no move to even speak a word. It worried Kaito but he couldn't say why he didn't speak out about it. But the grateful smile he saw was a good reason to stay quiet about it.

Jigen stared at the only son he'd ever claimed, and then wondered when that had come to be. That Edogawa Conan and Kudo Shinchi were one and the same as the child he called his own. There was an inexplicable warmth that spread throughout his chest when he thought about him. Even now, as he stared at the cherubic face turning red with tears in his cheeks. The shrunken teenager was laughing as he cried over a pile of photos in his hand. "Alright, hand it over." The laughing didn't even pause as the stack was handed over. He was turning an unhealthy shade of red. And Jigen couldn't fault the little guy.  
He was cracking up too.

How did that thief of the Moonlight end up looking like this? He'd definitely hold this memory close. It wasn't every day a widely known thief gift wrapped himself for a rival. Hell, if Lupin did this for Zenigata. The old man would probably die. 

He kneeled down to help him up off the floor and sat on the couch to read the newspaper. The laughter subsided to giggles as Conan flopped onto the couch to lean against him. Jigen moved his arm so Conan could settle comfortably against him. Jigen caught another glimpse of the photos and snorted. The photos were intentionally blurred to hide Kaito Kid's true identity. But that did nothing to hide the fact that The Kaito Kid was tangled in ribbons from head to toe, and at least three feet off the ground. In the first photo he looked stunned, then he was flailing in the next three and sulking in the next one with him glaring death in the last one. "Alright brat. Close your eyes and go to sleep." A breathless giggle, silence then a warm weight leaning fully against his side.  
He looked down and saw Conan was fast asleep with a smile on his face. Jigen took out his phone and looked at the text from an unknown sender. 'He needs you.' he'd bet the cherry sapphire that Fujiko's friend was the one who sent the message. He's glad she did. Just the few minutes they interacted with each other today was enough to worry him. He hadn't once tried calling him 'Papa', not that he even spoke a word.

Suddenly something cold and flat was pressed directly under his chin. Then there was a mouth near his ear. "So you're his favorite." Whispered a young guarded voice that sounded familiar. Not at all like how the Magician of the Moonlight was supposed to sound.

In fact, one could say that the owner of the voice sounded jealous.

Kaito had only just finished changing into the pajamas Tantei-kun had shown him, (they had his doodle!) when he heard the door silently open and shut. Then Tantei-kun's laughter faded to silence causing fear and concern for his favorite critic to surge forward like a splash of cold water. He quickly glanced around the room and snagged the yellow sun hat, powder blue scarf, and silver sunglasses as a quick disguise. He crept down the hall and kept his ear out for any signs that Tantei-kun was being hurt but he could only hear silence. He grabbed the letter opener from the small table and then rolled into the library ready to toss the letter opener. It was empty?  
No, there was someone on the couch.  
A fedora wearing someone...  
A fedora wearing someone who kidnapped his favorite critic!

Kaito kept low to the ground as he snuck up on his rival for Tantei-kun's attention. He waited until the other thief looked down before striking. He pressed the flat end of the blade to the man's neck feeling his adam's apple bob up and down. He had the nerve to smirk!  
"So you're his favorite." Kaito stated quietly, not seeing what Tantei-kun saw in this other thief. Sure he said that was his Papa. But anyone with eyes could see that they looked nothing alike. In fact this guy was working with Arsène Lupin III, another thief trying to steal Tantei-kun's attention. "Careful there boya. White's your color isn't it? Not green." Kaito looked down at Tantei-kun slumped against the man with a peaceful expression on his face and sighed. He was too tired to deal with this. And there was space next to Tantei-kun on the couch that looked so inviting. Kaito let the letter opener fall not caring that it slipped down the man's shirt causing him to shiver. He walked around the couch picking up the warm fuzzy blanket and baby blue pillow he'd woken up with and curled up in the corner of the couch. He covered Tantei-kun up and dared the man to speak. 

Jigen didn't know what to think when that Magician of the Moonlight walked into view wearing the most ridiculous pajamas he'd ever had the Fortune of laying his eyes on. And simply curled up on the corner of the couch furthest away from him and covered up the Chibi Detective. His look promised pain if he said a word, though how he conveyed that was a mystery. Literally none of his facial features were visible. The glare actually kicked up several notches when Conan crawled into his lap. Jigen actually felt slightly nervous. Not that he'd show it. "I'm watching you." The Kid Thief said then fell asleep hugging the pillow. The dangerous air around him faded leaving behind a lost and lonely kid.  
  
Conan was being held tightly. It wasn't uncomfortable but he didn't like being hugged when he wasn't aware enough to get away. So he reluctantly opened his eyes and blearily took in his surroundings automatically trying to dart the face near his own. Lupin. Ugh. Was it a gathering of thieves today? "Why so disgruntled Chibi Detective?" Lupin smirked before stopping and looking at him when he didn't say anything. Conan felt the arms around him tighten and looked up to see Kaito Kid? Well he was wearing the gag gift Conan bought for him. But he was also wearing his mother's sun hat, his father's sunglasses and his scarf. Whatever. He really didn't want to deal with anyone.  
He was tired. Kid was tired.  
Papa could get rid of Lupin and he and Kid could go back to sleep.

Or not. Conan sighed as he found himself hanging onto Kid as he flipped off the couch. He rested his head against Kid's chest as he slammed his palm into Kid's chin. "Ugh! Tantei-kun!" He whined but stopped running around so he counted that as a win.  
"What's wrong with you?" Conan buried his face in Kid's neck and looked at the Kid doodle right in front of him. That's the biggest question isn't? What was wrong with him? 

Kaito looked down at Tantei-kun when he shifted so that he hid his face in Kaito's neck. He tightened his hold further and glared fiercely at Lupin who had the decency to hold up his hands in surrender. Though that could also be because that other thief was pointing his gun at him. "Listen kid. There's nothing wrong with you." He began but Tantei-kun shook his head and wrapped his arms around Kaito's neck. Lupin actually looked hurt at the unconscious gesture from Tantei-kun. Kaito looked at Lupin by his side of the couch, then that other thief on the other side well away from him.

He was tired. Tantei-kun was tired.  
That other thief could get rid of Lupin. They were partners after all.  
Kaito hopped into the couch beside the other Thief and stole the blanket from him without a shred of remorse. He curled up with Tantei-kun and shut his eyes. He didn't feel like talking much either. It almost felt like he was exerting his own force of control, when everything else was already slipping out of his tenative grasp. Everyone else had to slow down. And that made this only slightly more bearable.

Jigen continued glaring at Lupin when the Magician of the Moonlight walked around the couch and curled up beside him. So he must have taken him to be the lesser of two evils. That was fine by him, it gave him an excuse to keep a close eye on the both of them. He stole the blanket off his lap and curled up against the arm of the couch in silence. Was silence contagious?

Lupin didn't lower his hands and the gun pointed at him didn't waver in the slightest as the weapon's owner looked away. "Fujiko-chan said her friend texted you about that kid of yours. That he wasn't doing so good." Jigen looked at him for a few seconds before putting away his gun. Jigen turned to look back at the Kid Thief and Chibi Detective. The both of them looked exhausted. It kind of reminds him of his self and Jigen.  
"Don't worry. Uncle Lupin knows how to fix this." Lupin walked out of the library to leave the small 'family' alone and went to make them all something to eat.  
When he came back with food for everyone it was to see the Kid Thief and Chibi Detective on the floor fighting over a book.  
While completely silent.  
And still managing to insult each other.  


And Jigen didn't even seem to notice! He was reading the newspaper without a single care. Moving his feet out the way when the two rolled closer to him and then putting them back when they were out of the way. Lupin decided he'd just go with it and set down the plates of food on the small coffee table. And when they were done having fun he'd give them food. 

Why was this happening to him? What did he even do to deserve this? Conan wondered as he took the fountain pen away from Kaito Kid after he slipped it in his pocket. The pile of things he took back was ridiculous! Somehow everything that was small enough to slip into a pocket was taken. And somethings that weren't. 

He'd already had to confiscate all of his mother's jewelry from Lupin.

And anything that belonged to him, well Kudo Shinichi him, he had to take from Kid. Including his books. Which is what started all of this.

Not even Papa was immune! Conan only had to point at him and he put it back. What 'it' was he doesn't want to know but he can take a guess. Especially since he was in the drawer that had the lock box containing an antique gun. Conan didn't even have his voice to aid him in stopping all the thieves in his library, still that didn't mean he couldn't insult them. It just took a lot more facial expressions, sign language and Morse code. Kid seemed to have fallen silent too so he gave as good as he got. Nothing really changed between them and yet, somehow, everything had changed.  
He watched Lupin literally wave a necklace in Kid's face while Kid taunted him with a ring. Papa was sitting back and watching them fondly, so it didn't even come as a surprise to him that he couldn't help but relax. Which would make what he was about to do cruel but hilarious. He got Papa's attention and nodded to the ribbon besides Papa's leg then gestured to the one in his hand. Papa's smirk grew when he pulled a camera out from a hidden alcove in the coffee table. 

Twin yelps of surprise followed by screams then silence.  
Kaito sighed dramatically turning to Conan with a wounded look on his face. Not that he could see any of his facial features with the hat, scarf, sunglasses combo he wore. But it was obvious that was exactly what he was doing. And Lupin was doing the exact same thing... more vocally. Conan made sure to get plenty of pictures of the two. These wouldnt need to censored since Kid's face was covered. "I think this is a warning to stop stealing." Papa said as he took out his phone and began taking his own photos.

This was eerily similar to how Jigen first found Conan when he walked in to the library. Laughing over a pile of photos with vindictive glee. Only the first time Kaito Kid was not laughing beside him. The two of them were huddled together practically unconscious from all their laughter if the wheezing was anything to go by. Empty bowls were on the floor beside them along with a plate of cookies that were stealthily eaten by the Magician of the Moonlight. They almost seemed like brothers this way.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of having Jigen reluctantly be a parent figure for Kaito with Lupin as well. But Kaito is even more reluctant about it then Jigen. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.


End file.
